Personal Ads
MAN SEEKING WOMAN (1061)
Pleasant, well-off man seeks woman with similar characteristics for boat outings. Me: likes boats. You: likes boats but also things that extend beyond boats. Call Lankville Bay 1061.
MAN SEEKING WOMAN (7771)
Lankville County bachelor, college graduate, works for posts offices, tall with angular face. Desires meeting attractive brunette, aged 21-40 for companionship, fun, enjoyment and the mountains. Enjoys some sports, certain types of dinners, music, arts, dinosaurs, sitting about. Desires very early morning meetings.
Call Lankville County North 7771.
Note: Date 7771 is currently incarcerated.
MAN SEEKING WOMAN (3899)
6’2, about 50. Unsure of age. Non-smoking, probably.
I’m an oscillating fan salesman.
I have some interest in
(part of submitted ad illegible)
Call Northern Hole Area, 3899.
MAN SEEKING WOMAN (0652)
5’9, 36 years old. Beautiful full head of hair. It’s so thick I need multiple hair-dryers. Looking for woman with similar luxuriant hair– color not important. Should be very thick and have a sort of tumbling, cascading effect as it drops off the shoulders. I like spiritual traveling, eating exotic foods, a little bit of gambling.
Call Capitol Lankville 0652.
WOMAN SEEKING MAN (0752)
I like beaches and sunsets and rabbits and ribbons and bows and bed and breakfasts and beautiful views and horses and ponies and hayrides and those cute little rubber things that go on the end of pencils and lace and pizza and beautiful streams and horses and bows and sunrises and pillows of all different sizes and horses and romantic walks on the beach and movies and the color pink and ponies and dollhouses and old-fashioned candy shoppes and church and pizza and little baby ducks. Call LANKVILLE SUBURBAN (0752).
WOMAN SEEKING MAN (6882)
Stunning bombshell interested in man with large car. Should have the stamina to drive long distances to remote areas of Lankville. Possession of a large number of cardboard boxes a plus. Constant replenishing of your supply of cardboard boxes a bigger bonus. Ability to move these boxes once filled with objects would be icing on the cake!
Call Western Lankville Hill Distrcit (6882)
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Gentlemen,
My name is Fletcher M. Gregory, Jr. and I am 85 years old. I have long been an admirer of your Fluffy Marshes-Mallows; indeed, my man-servant Mr. Swift and I enjoy it atop our sundaes three or four days per week! However, as time has passed, I have noticed that your product becomes more and more difficult to locate in the grocery center and that other, obviously inferior products are now being allotted primer space. Now, this could be the work of the disgraceful he-she that manages my local grocery center (IT'S name is "Steve") but I have had other associates who have expressed similar concerns.
Therefore, I was hoping you could provide me with information on how you intend to rectify this matter as I am fearful that your fine product will eventually disappear forever from the shelves of my local grocery center-cum Sodom.
Yours faithfully,
Fletcher M. Gregory, Lankville
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I am a single man living in Jewcastle Bay and am looking for a woman strong with plow. I work 18-20 hours a day trading garbage futures and options and I don’t have time for any sass. Can someone help?
just got done covering up some of the snake holes cant get em all of course man theres a lot of snake holes in Lankville anyway time to get down in time for the laughing catfish to get me a few drinks i also need a ride later today ok