Personal Ads


Pleasant, well-off man seeks woman with similar characteristics for boat outings.  Me: likes boats.  You: likes boats but also things that extend beyond boats. Call Lankville Bay 1061.


Lankville County bachelor, college graduate, works for posts offices, tall with angular face.  Desires meeting attractive brunette, aged 21-40 for companionship, fun, enjoyment and the mountains.  Enjoys some sports, certain types of dinners, music, arts, dinosaurs, sitting about.  Desires very early morning meetings.

Call Lankville County North 7771.

Note: Date 7771 is currently incarcerated.



6’2, about 50.  Unsure of age.  Non-smoking, probably.

I’m an oscillating fan salesman.

I have some interest in

(part of submitted ad illegible)

Call Northern Hole Area, 3899.


5’9, 36 years old. Beautiful full head of hair. It’s so thick I need multiple hair-dryers. Looking for woman with similar luxuriant hair– color not important. Should be very thick and have a sort of tumbling, cascading effect as it drops off the shoulders. I like spiritual traveling, eating exotic foods, a little bit of gambling.

Call Capitol Lankville 0652.

Olivia-in-Xanadu-olivia-newton-john-15266151-499-500WOMAN SEEKING MAN (0752)

I like beaches and sunsets and rabbits and ribbons and bows and bed and breakfasts and beautiful views and horses and ponies and hayrides and those cute little rubber things that go on the end of pencils and lace and pizza and beautiful streams and horses and bows and sunrises and pillows of all different sizes and horses and romantic walks on the beach and movies and the color pink and ponies and dollhouses and old-fashioned candy shoppes and church and pizza and little baby ducks.  Call LANKVILLE SUBURBAN (0752).



Stunning bombshell interested in man with large car. Should have the stamina to drive long distances to remote areas of Lankville. Possession of a large number of cardboard boxes a plus. Constant replenishing of your supply of cardboard boxes a bigger bonus. Ability to move these boxes once filled with objects would be icing on the cake!

Call Western Lankville Hill Distrcit (6882)

  1. L'Aquifer Sapiens
    March 12, 2014 at 1:05 pm

    I am a single man living in Jewcastle Bay and am looking for a woman strong with plow. I work 18-20 hours a day trading garbage futures and options and I don’t have time for any sass. Can someone help?

  2. October 31, 2016 at 2:04 am

    just got done covering up some of the snake holes cant get em all of course man theres a lot of snake holes in Lankville anyway time to get down in time for the laughing catfish to get me a few drinks i also need a ride later today ok

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