Lankville
A History of Lankville by Rufus Potts, Historian
File photo
EARLY DAYS
The first peoples of Lankville were primitive cavemen who fashioned mean stone tools to fend off dragons. When this was accomplished, they thought they had it easy but BOY! were they wrong. Because then the dinosaurs came. Archaeological evidence has proven that early man was down to just 62 people after the dinosaurs appeared. Thankfully, they knew about intercourse. And then the Ice Age came along.
Most historians will not speculate as to how man survived the Ice Age. But my research has indicated that they built towers. Some of these towers can still be seen deep in the woods but you have to know where you’re going. I give tours occasionally.
“Lankville Town” appeared in the medieval ages.
The history suddenly ended.
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CRIME BLOTTER
CURIOUS LETTERS
Gentlemen,
My name is Fletcher M. Gregory, Jr. and I am 85 years old. I have long been an admirer of your Fluffy Marshes-Mallows; indeed, my man-servant Mr. Swift and I enjoy it atop our sundaes three or four days per week! However, as time has passed, I have noticed that your product becomes more and more difficult to locate in the grocery center and that other, obviously inferior products are now being allotted primer space. Now, this could be the work of the disgraceful he-she that manages my local grocery center (IT'S name is "Steve") but I have had other associates who have expressed similar concerns.
Therefore, I was hoping you could provide me with information on how you intend to rectify this matter as I am fearful that your fine product will eventually disappear forever from the shelves of my local grocery center-cum Sodom.
Yours faithfully,
Fletcher M. Gregory, Lankville
LETTER SACK