Home > 2012-13 Season > Expansion “Foodstamps” Join Association

Expansion “Foodstamps” Join Association

January 7, 2013 Leave a comment Go to comments

By Larry “God” Peters
Far-Flung Areas Correspondent
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The expansion “Foodstamps” became the third new club to join the Association, it was announced early this morning.

“It pleases us to welcome the Foodstamps,” said commissioner Dr. Albert C. Pondicherry, Jr. who was forcibly removed from his bed to attend the early-morning press conference. “We exhibit twinkles at the idea.”

Little is known about Foodstamp ownership. Both Rhinos GM Ric Royer and Dead Puck Era Club GM Chris Vitiello admitted to knowledge of only the most basic facts.

“The owner is Aaron Tucker and he is from far away. Very, very far away,” said Royer, who was standing by as a hired team of workers were attempting to remove the padlocks from twin utility sheds. “For a time, I thought he was from The Islands but he is clearly of a greater race and not of the filthy, degenerate backward type. He must be from an entirely new continent that is terra incognita.”

Dead Puck Era GM Chris Vitiello agreed with Royer’s assessment, suddenly began weeping hysterically, and then produced a large whip and thrashed this reporter near to death.

The Foodstamps are expected to release a statement later today.

Categories: 2012-13 Season
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