Home > 2012-13 Season > Expansion “911’s” Join Association

Expansion “911’s” Join Association

January 7, 2013 Leave a comment Go to comments

By Nient Boffo
Senior Staff Writer


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A second expansion team has joined the Pondicherry Association, it was announced yesterday.

“It is with intermittent glee that I welcome the 911’s to the league,” said commissioner Dr. Albert C. Pondicherry, Jr. during a small press conference held near a large series of doors that led to some sort of loud, complex machinery. “We are sparkling with varied sensations at the thought of adding another expansion presence,” added the commissioner.

Dr. Pondicherry noted that GM and owner “Tiny Leone” was not yet available for comment.

“Our understanding is that Mr. Leone is a member of what is known as the “white collar underworld” here in Lankville. He is engaged in varied business activities which, although they will and have made him endless wealth have been to the grave detriment of the general population.”

Terrifying Bats GM Ric Royer, who was interviewed while stuck in a gigantic tube outside his Eastern Lankville home was skeptical.

“I know this Leone, he and I have stolen money from some people. He is dexterous but I question his preparedness for the upcoming draft.”

Royer continued, as a rescue squad attempted to remove him from the mysterious tube.

“When one walks into that [draft room] one faces an onslaught. There are papers, yes. Computer screens. But there are also fires. Missiles, fashioned out of everyday objects, rain down on you. There is the constant danger of having your throat cut. It is a sort of living hell and one has to work around this hell, to draft wisely. The question is, can this Leone handle such an abyss of menace?”

Ad Hominems owner “Inner Hammer”, who helped to broker the deal, dismissed Royer’s comments.

“Just another fat parcel of horseshit,” said “Inner Hammer”, when apprised of Royer’s statement. “We are delighted to welcome Leone to the league.”

The 911’s are expected to release a statement today.

Categories: 2012-13 Season
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