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Royer Falls From Improperly Stacked Logs

January 12, 2013 Leave a comment

By Hugh G. Pickens
Crime Beat Reporter
Photo on 2011-06-24 at 07.51
File photo

It is reported that Terrifying Bat GM Ric Royer fell from some improperly stacked logs today. The executive is believed to be resting comfortably according to officials at the Foontz-Flonnaise Home of Abundant Senselessness.

The incident occurred this afternoon as Royer and another inmate were prancing around a log pile. “All of the sudden, Mr. Royer decided to hop up on top of the log pile,” noted Warden Jenness, who was interviewed while overseeing the placement of some decorative hams in his office. “This movement was a childlike expression of pure joy, a splendid example of a man learning the beauty of the physical form and its ability to hop but unfortunately some of the logs had been stacked improperly and he fell backwards onto his head. We regret the incident.”

Warden Jenness added that the individual responsible for the improper stacking (an Islander) has been taken to a clearing and whipped mercilessly by parties unknown.

Royer was unavailable for comment but according to witnesses, the executive did sit up momentarily and remarked, “I wish those logs had been stacked properly” before succumbing again to unconsciousness.

The Pondicherry Association has yet to issue an official statement.

Categories: 2012-13 Season Tags: ,