Home > 2012-13 Season > Vitiello Discusses 24-Piece Men Coaching Situation

Vitiello Discusses 24-Piece Men Coaching Situation

by Tito Presentation
Senior Staff Writer
file photo

For the first time in a thus-far lost season, 24-Piece Men GM Chris Vitiello discussed the vacant head-coaching position for his expansion club.

“I see no point in naming a coach provided that this buffoonery continues,” said the decorative ham magnate from his factory in Northern Lankville. “When I sit at the [negotiating] table, I feel as if I am surrounded by vile truth-rapists and my natural inclination is not only to whip them mercilessly but to place them in fathomless caves and to literally teach the darkness out of them.”

A wall of the factory suddenly blew in on Vitiello. A siren went off somewhere and a series of searchlights strafed the area. Vitiello was able to escape through massive amounts of carnage and commandeered a decorative ham delivery truck to parts unknown.

As he pulled off, he looked down on me as the unidentified beasts circled the destroyed room.”Where are the hams which came in to thee this night? Bring them out unto us, that we may KNOW THEM”.

Then, he was gone.

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