Home > Real Life Cases > Real Life Cases of the Lankville Police Department: The Meyer Case

Real Life Cases of the Lankville Police Department: The Meyer Case

January 27, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments

The Lankville Cabbager is pleased to present this exclusive glimpse into the Shane Meyer case by the man who investigated it– Detective Gee Temple.


File Photo

By Detective Gee-Temple

They said there was a fire at the Theetz gas station so I joined the chief and marshal at the edge of the curb and we watched the conflagration while drinking from a mysterious thermos that periodically changed its color. The station itself was actually safe– indeed, it was a strange tire house towards the back of the lot that was engulfed in flames.

The only known photo of Meyer's gas station tire house before the fire.

The only known photo of Meyer’s gas station tire house before the fire.

“What is that tire house?” I asked. I thought that perhaps it was a promotion to sell more tires.
“That’s where Shane Meyer was living,” said the marshal. He suddenly took in an enormous gulp of air.

I could not believe it. Here was a man worth $750 million (Lankville) and the famed owner of the Meyer Fried Plantain Concern and a professional hockey club. I could not understand it.

“Why does he live in a house of tires in back of a gas station?” I asked.
No one could answer me. Finally, the fire chief offered, “he has head goblins.”
The marshal nodded, took in another enormous gulp of air and said, “yep.”

Head goblins. For a second time in as many minutes, I was simply floored.

The fire died down. I could see now that a roof of mean plywood had been attached to the top of the structure and that balloons had been tied there as decoration. They had, of course, popped during the blaze. It was difficult to see inside but to me, the interior seemed empty. I had hope that Meyer had somehow escaped.

Later that morning, I interviewed the Island clerk. He admitted that some sort of monetary arrangement had been made for Meyer to live in the back lot but that it had periodically changed. He also showed me a small closet by the restrooms and there we found an enormous cache of chemicals of all sorts. After some consideration, we dismissed Meyer as a terror-being.

There was disagreement later on a body. The chief felt that he had found Meyer’s crispy remains in one part of the tire house but the marshal demurred. “It’s up to you to break the tie,” they said. “I leaned over and entered the strange edifice. The chief showed me a crude bed that had been made (out of tires) and a little shelf that had contained toiletries. The chief pointed to what seemed to be remains. “That’s him, right?” he asked. “See, isn’t that legs?” I could not tell. But I voted with the chief.

Now, after much thought in my study, I cannot say for certain.

Further notes will continue in later issues.

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