Home > Lankville Action News: YES! > Royer Changes Name to “Frater-Xerxes”

Royer Changes Name to “Frater-Xerxes”

By Larry "God" Peters

By Larry “God” Peters

 

 

Eccentric Lankville business magnate Ric Royer announced today that he has changed his name to “Frater-Xerxes”.

Frater Xerxes' ( Ric Royer's) most recent mental institution portrait.

Frater Xerxes’  (Ric Royer’s) most recent mental institution portrait.

“I’m set with Frater-Xerxes now,” announced Royer, from a rural mountain carnival somewhere in the Lankville Mountain District. “It’s a process guys, it’s a process.”

Royer was unsure of the historical origins of the name.  “It was given to me by a magical mountain sage who I met while buying a rubber raincoat.  When he came up to me, the raincoat burst spontaneously into flames,” noted the Frater.  “I knew then that I would follow him.”

The Frater is using the carnival as a test-run for his new pretzel and frosted nut kiosks, set to begin operation in Lankille-area malls during the winter.

“We’ll start up here, feeding people who don’t matter,” said the Frater, who was clad in a strange brown robe with a see-through outer jacket made of wire and trash bags. “I can test my machines easier here and if anything happens to any of these customers, then it’s just a matter of dragging their lifeless corposes into the woods. There’s not a lot of people horning around, asking troublesome questions here. The air is fresh and God-like and there is no burden. Seed spilled into the ground will turn into a mighty tree.”

The Frater was then asked about his controversial mall retail space/home.

“It’s glorious, full of wonders. We have been through a lot this year and…”

(The interview had to be ended when the uneven legs of the Frater’s picnic table caused an extra-large soda to spill on the ground. No one helped the Frater and there was an interminable period of deep confusion and darkness).

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