Home > Feelings by Dr. Kevin Thurston > Feelings by Dr. Kevin Thurston: Explaining the “Me Burger”

Feelings by Dr. Kevin Thurston: Explaining the “Me Burger”

December 29, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments
Dr. Kevin Thurston is in.

Dr. Kevin Thurston is in.

Dr. Kevin Thurston is an expert on men’s feelings.

A client of mine recently expressed feelings of misery centered around his direction and life purpose and also in regards to his wife never having sex with him. I probed a little on this and the client reiterated that his wife found every conceivable excuse to avoid amorous contact. “Once, she found a small crack in the kitchen wall, way behind the stove and stayed up fretting over it until finally, I just gave up,” he commented.

“You are sexually-starved,” I noted. I wrote the term on a chalkboard and we stared at it for awhile. “That’s a nice chalkboard,” he said. So, I sold it to him for $29.99, including three colors of chalk.

Then, I switched directions. “You may not be able to ever get your wife to have sex with you,” I stated. It was harsh but he needed to hear that. “However, what you can do is to have a ME-BURGER.” I was going to write the term on the chalkboard but we had already taken it down and loaded it into the client’s car.

I proceeded to explain the concept of the Me-Burger.

“Make things completely about yourself. Tell your wife that you need some time to focus on “the Me”. Begin wearing smaller t-shirts on the weekends. In the evenings, curl up into a gently-rolling ball in a corner and quietly whisper me me me me me over and over again. You’ll feel the peace wash over you.”

Then, I sold him a little mat he could use for the rolling. $11.99. Good deal.

In two weeks, the client has undergone an amazing transformation. He walks around now with a confident, semi-permanent smile. While waiting for our appointment, he completely took control of my waiting area and rearranged it utilizing Eastern theories of decoration. During our session, he screamed suddenly at me three times.

All because he had a little bite of the Me-Burger.

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