Ask Catrin


Catrin Lloyd-Bollard is an expert at answering questions.


Dear Ms. Catrin,

I use a gravy ladle to measure out brown sugar. The ladle fits perfectly into a measuring cup and I use the ladle bottom to tamp down the sugar so it’s packed.

The other day a friend saw me doing this and said, “You must be shit-all stupid using a god damn gravy ladle like that.”

I thought I was being really clever but what do you think?

Confused in the Kitchen
Hill Area

Dear Confused,

Once I got locked out on my roof and used a pair of tweezers to pick the lock and get back inside.

Ms. Catrin

Dear Ms. Catrin,

My husband and I were having some marital problems so we went to a counselor. The counselor told us to take an interest in each other’s hobbies. I’ve tried, Ms. Catrin, but it just makes me sick to go down to the dump and shoot at trash.

What should I do?


Dear Unhappy,

Murder is usually an effective solution.

Yours truly,
Ms. Catrin

Dear Ms. Catrin,

So, you know, I was standing around the garage getting some tires put on my car and, you know, Gary, who is the mechanic, he kept dropping the tires and they’d roll away into a meadow, so he’d grab some other tires down from the wall and then he’d drop those too and after awhile, I noticed that every time he was dropping the tires, you know, he’d look at me, like, you know, up my skirt and all and now I’m thinking he really likes me.

Should I just, you know, let him keep dropping the tires and see what happens or what? I mean, I kind of have to get back to work, you know, but he is really good looking and he’s greasy which, you know, is kind of hot.


Gung Ho in the Garage (female)
Mercantile District

Dear Gung Ho,

Things like “work” should never get in the way of a potential romance.  Let him keep dropping the tires and see where it goes.  Also, if you could write back and let me know how many tires he dropped before anything happened, that would be great.  I have a bet with another advice columnist.

With anticipation,
Ms. Catrin

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