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Otis Nixon: 1955-2016


By Otho Ump

By Otho Ump

Infamous lurker, folklorist and Lankville Daily News columnist Otis Nixon has died. He was 60.

By Otis Nixon

Otis Nixon has died.

Nixon was allegedly riding in an open car while wearing a long scarf. Witnesses state that the scarf became entangled beneath the wheels of the car causing Nixon to be strangled to death. His body was then blown into the woods and destroyed. No further information was available at press time.

“It’s a sad day for all of us,” said Daily News editor Marles Cundiff.

Nixon was previously reported dead several times last year only to later be found alive.

“Pretty sure it’s Otis,” said Detective Gee-Temple, who was the first to arrive at the scene. “We have a witness that identified his scarf from a press photo.”

Relatives, friends and former lovers are invited to visit at the Life Lessons Funeral Home of the Southern Lankville Peninsula, Inc., on Friday, June 25, from 2pm to 4pm, 6pm to 8pm and again at 2am if you’re up for it. Funeral Services will be held on Saturday, June 26, 11:00am at the Great Christ Tube Church of the Southern Lankville Peninsula.

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