Home > Opinions > Dick La Hoyt on the New Copy Machine They Got at His Work, Other Miscellany

Dick La Hoyt on the New Copy Machine They Got at His Work, Other Miscellany

September 19, 2016 Leave a comment Go to comments
Dick La Hoyt

Dick La Hoyt

Outstanding Opinions

We got a new copy machine down at the Tire Shredding Plant. You oughta’ see this beauty. First off, she’s a Danny Madison Crusader with the HD color touchscreen– must have set the company back a pretty penny, I’ll tell you. This baby’s got a 1600 sheet capacity– seriously, they’re not assing around, man. You got a resolution of 1200 x 1200 dpi, page output of up to 6000 sheets a month, SVGA LCD graphics, the whole bit– one of the guys in the office even told me that the damn thing’ll order you up a pizza from anywhere in Lankville. It’s a serious piece of equipment.

You really can’t go wrong with a Danny Madison product. Tam’s got some kind of a tablet– god damn thing talks to you. And I mean, a serious conversation. Tam’ll be lying in bed with that gigantic-ass t-shirt she wears that’s got the Lankville flag on it and says- TRY AND BURN THIS and she’ll just be lying there and she’ll say, “Tablet, what appointments do I have tomorrow?” and sure as shit this tablet will tell her. And then, Tam’ll say, “What about Ms. Ludwig at 3PM– what did she need again?” and the god damn thing’ll tell her. It’s freaky, I’ll put that on record right now. Chalk up a sense of amazement for Dick, chalk it up right now, go ahead.

We get most of our Danny Madison products down at the Electronics Grandee on Highway 52. It’s a couple of Kurt’s that own the place– funny that way, a couple of guys named Kurt both went into business together. I commented on that to Tam once and she started hollering at me something about, “WELL GOD DAMN RIGHT THEY SHOULD GO INTO GOD DAMN BUSINESS TOGETHER, THEY BOTH GOT THE SAME GOD DAMN NAME. IT’S A NATURAL WINNER” and then she started crying. I think it was on account of the old crimson wave, as the poet said.

Not much else going on in ol’ Dick La Hoyt’s world. I did get punched in the mouth recently.

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