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What is Great Art?

September 5, 2014 Leave a comment
Grette Canyons, Culture Expert

Grette Canyons, Culture Expert

THE CULTURE CORNER WITH GRETTE CANYONS

What is great art?

“Nobody really knows,” says Northern Lankville Museum of Art Director Weldon Freed, age 66. “Sometimes, one has to go on feel,” added the short of stature executive, who sported an impressive array of massive tomes on his office desk. “There can be a sort of spine-tingling sensation when one examines a piece of art. At other times, I’ve felt a sense of heat– deep, penetrating heat generating from the groin and around to the behind area. It really depends on the individual.”

Hundreds of people visit Lankville art museums yearly. What do they think?

“Obviously, there are certain works that you recognize right away as masterpieces,” said fireman Paul Sorrento of Eastern Lankville. “Anything by [Linda] Ten Boom is great. I think the sculptures of Darrell Evans are generally regarded as treasures. Perhaps a general consensus makes great art.”

Linda Ten Boom's "In the Shadow of the Crucifixion".

Linda Ten Boom’s “In the Shadow of the Crucifixion”.

Small Pizza magnate “Inner Hammer” has been a lifetime art collector. We caught up with the executive at his beach cottage in the Teets Island Chain.

“I buy a lot of different things,” stated the enigmatic patron. “I try to spread it around. You don’t want one artist getting his hands on the whole god damn loaf. Not gonna’ be any interest with the Hammer if no one else ever gets a piece of the loaf.”

When asked what makes great art, the small pizza mogul stated, “I have no idea.”

Inner Hammer then had to end the interview prematurely as he was suddenly being shot at by a low-flying helicopter.

“It’s really a question for the ages, one that has no clear, definable answer,” said Freed, who paused to open his desk drawer, tear some meat off a raw chicken and devour it voraciously. “But it certainly makes for a lively debate and I think it’s fun for people. People have fun talking about it and people like to have fun. So it works out in the end, you see.”

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