Home > 2012-13 Season, Musings of a Decorative Ham Man > On the Decorative Ham by Chris Vitiello: AN OPINION PIECE

On the Decorative Ham by Chris Vitiello: AN OPINION PIECE

By Chris Vitiello
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It need not be a holiday or even a special occasion to place a decorative ham. Nor is the placement of a decorative ham limited to one room of your home. I even stress the outdoors during my professional placements. I have placed decorative hams on porch gliders, in hammocks, in trees and on fences. The possibilities are limitless.

Imagine, if you will, a home without a decorative ham. You can’t, can you? That is because my decorative hams have become so ubiquitous that they are mere second nature to even the most casual observer. Even the blind are aware of the decorative ham. I often encourage the blind to take both their hands and grope the decorative ham. I also do the same in schools.

It is fashionable at this time of year to place decorative hams in windows, particularly windows with high visibility to the street. Depending on your home decor, I will sometimes place a laurel wreath or a series of ribbons around the decorative ham. At other times, we elect to go with candor– the decorative ham is placed naked in the window– perhaps not even set properly. It can be quite startling.

My consultations are free. I will come to your home.

The opinions of Mr. Vitiello are not necessarily the opinions of the Lankville Post-Dispatch Intelligencer News of Some of the Nations.

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