Home > 2012-13 Season > Royer Purchases Mutant Sea Monster

Royer Purchases Mutant Sea Monster

February 14, 2013 Leave a comment Go to comments

By Larry “God” Peters
Far-Flung Areas Correspondent
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Incarcerated Terrifying Bats GM Cor Scorpionis (formerly Ric Royer) has purchased a mutant sea monster, sources are now confirming.

“There was a nuclear leak off the coast of Lankville and my people immediately made me aware of a most spectacular mutant sea monster that arose out of a drainage canal,” noted Cor Scorpionis, who submitted to a short press conference.  “At first, the creature terrorized and ultimately killed several winos and hippies that were sitting nearby but he was eventually corralled and brought to market where my people were fortunate enough to place the winning bid.”

A special basin at an undisclosed location has been constructed for the creature, Cor Scorpionis also announced.

“I’ve been looking for a new special pal ever since Mr. Chops was abducted,” noted the executive, in reference to his recently-lost dog.

A long pause ensued which ceased only when Cor Scorpionis began vomiting heavily.  The interview was then ended.

Categories: 2012-13 Season Tags: ,
  1. February 17, 2013 at 8:44 pm

    Sorry, I actually was directed here when I clicked on a link in an email from my mother. The link said “Free American prisoners in Quaikc”. I’m pretty sure this is not the correct website, especially since this is the same website that I we redirected to when I clicked a link in an email from my mother that promised “Free American Facial Astringent”. That time, after I posted a query about how to claim my free astringent, a fellow replied simply with the command “eat my hymen”. That’s not right.
    But I figured that the stakes are a little higher now, with potential Americans being held hostage somewhere in the middle east or latin american, so I figured I would double check. :/
    thanks,
    Ben Oons

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