Home > Lankville Action News: YES! > Police to Investigate Reappearance of Dr. Pennies

Police to Investigate Reappearance of Dr. Pennies

By Hugh G. Pickens
Crime Beat Reporter
Photo on 2011-06-24 at 07.51
File photo

Lankville police are currently investigating the reappearance of the notorious murderer and former Association club owner Dr. Pennies, sources have confirmed.  Dr. Pennies was recently hired by the Pondicherry Association News to pen a new column.

“We are looking into this,” stated Detective Gee-Temple at an early morning press conference held in a windy field.  “There are some similarities– both individuals are over seven feet tall and completely hairless but Pennies is a rather common last name and we really cannot jump to any conclusions at this point.”

The wanted Dr. Pennies disappeared shortly after the conclusion of the 2010 season.  He is believed to have killed thousands.

“I really felt that he had died because we didn’t find him,” added Gee-Temple, whose coat suddenly blew off.   “We looked in a lot of places too.  We scoured his house, for example.”

Reporter Pennies could not be reached for comment.  The address field on his Association News contract was left blank.

“He has a locker and he used the microwave in the canteen yesterday,” noted fellow reporter Grady Kitchens.  “He cooked a lasagna at incredible temperatures for long periods until it finally exploded.  I felt that he was trying to tell us something. Then he walked quietly away.  That was the last I saw of him.”

A new article from Dr. Pennies is expected tomorrow.

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