Home > Ordeal of a Cosmonaut > Del Rio Suddenly Returns from Space; Presents Paper

Del Rio Suddenly Returns from Space; Presents Paper

September 9, 2013 Leave a comment Go to comments

By Marles Cundiff
Lankville Lakes Region Attache
File photo

Alleged cosmonaut Nick Del Rio returned from space yesterday after a year-long voyage and presented a paper on his travels to a group of distinguished “scientists” at Goddards Famous Astronaut House.  The explorer was then presented with several medals and unwieldy trophies from LASA (Lankville Association for Space Achievers) and met briefly with the media afterwards.  We had a chance to speak with him briefly.

MC:  I hate you.

ND:  Listen, do you have any real questions?

MC:  Let’s talk about Lankville.  What did you think of President Pondicherry’s recent address?

ND:  I think the President has taken his lumps but that he’s much-improved and…

MC:  I hate you.

ND:  …and I think President Pondicherry is ready to take Lankville to the next level socially, scientifically…

MC:  Everybody hates you.  Everybody hopes you die in space.

ND:  …politically and economically…

MC:  I hope your space rocket runs out of gas and you get eaten by something big on a lonely, uncharted planet.

ND:  Listen, can I finish, please?

MC:  OH!  Look at the big fancy space asshole!  The delicate genius space asshole that CAN NOT be interrupted!

ND:  Alright, we’re done here.

Del Rio intends to chronicle his long ordeal in space in upcoming issues of The Pondicherry Association News.

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