Home > Lankville Action News: YES!, Royer's Madcap Experiences > Royer Rents Mall Retail Space; Planning to Live There

Royer Rents Mall Retail Space; Planning to Live There

January 21, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments

By Larry “God” Peters   The Lankville Action News YES! Team
Far-Flung Areas Correspondent
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Lankille business magnate and sports team owner Ric Royer has leased a local mall retail space and announced today that he is planning to move in by the end of the month.

View of Removed Pines Mall, Eastern Lankville.

View of Removed Pines Mall, Eastern Lankville.

“I spend 8-9 hours there a day,” noted the executive, who was recently released from the hospital after a zoo incident involving a suction-powered trash receptacle. “It was suggested to me by certain friends and specific lovers that I simply take up residence there to save time and travel expenses. I thought it was a great idea.”

The space, which had previously housed Teppo Numminen’s Baby Pantry, a now-defunct chain, is currently under renovations.

“I’ve given the architects and the engineers my unique vision for the space,” said Royer, who suddenly began removing his shirt. “They are now in the process of attempting to match that vision.”

Royer suddenly began blubbering uncontrollably and the interview was ended.

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