Home > Lankville Action News: YES!, Royer's Madcap Experiences > An Interview with Scott Kites

An Interview with Scott Kites

January 24, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments

Larry “God” Peters recently had an opportunity to sit down with Mall Manager Mr. Scott Kites, best-known as landlord to Lankville business magnate Ric Royer.

LP: You’ve been in the news a lot recently.
SK: Yes, the circumstances are troubling. Whenever I speak, it’s usually to tout our mall. This is new to me.
LP: Will you be evicting Mr. Royer?

Scott Kites of the Mall.

Scott Kites of the Mall

SK: He needs to open his store, sell something or provide some sort of service. We can’t have an empty retail space, even if it is being paid for. Plus, he put up some curtains that have frightening pumpkins all over them. It confuses people. People think it’s a Halloween-related store. Then, they get up close to the curtains and they see that the pumpkins are actually killing people. Scenes of real carnage are depicted on the curtains. I have no idea where he found these things– they’re pretty awful.
LP: Royer has a history of winning battles with authority figures in a demonstrative manner. Do you really think you can take him on?
SK: Of course. It’s a simple procedure to evict a tenant. Everything is handled properly.
LP: You’re just a Mall Manager. You seem to have faith that proper methods will work on Mr. Royer. You don’t seem to understand what is known as “The Darkness”.
SK(confused): Well…as I said…
LP: What you said means nothing. You’re just a Mall Manager. You’re simple.
SK: Look, I have to attend the opening of…
LP: Your grave?

Kites walked away.

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