Home > News of the Weird > News of the Weird: “Inner Hammer” Reappears: “I Was Bored”

News of the Weird: “Inner Hammer” Reappears: “I Was Bored”

February 4, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments

By Graahaam Fosdick
Special Weird Correspondent

Graahaam Fosdick

Graahaam Fosdick


Small pizza tycoon “Inner Hammer” returned home last night after a two-day absence following his evaporation into a local cornfield.

“I was bored,” the executive explained. “I was given the rare opportunity to evaporate into a cornfield, to visit vast worlds beyond my own and I took it. It was a strange and invigorating experience.”

When asked what these alternate universes were like, “Inner Hammer” responded, “they were each their own, small heaven with some distinctive characteristic as you traveled from one to another. For example, one world was all old-fashioned candy shoppes where no payment was accepted. The candy was merely free nectar from some mysterious but benevolent god.”

“Inner Hammer” was then asked what prompted him to bother to return from such enchanted environments.

“In the last universe, I was permitted to pop unlimited vag. Frankly, I’m a little chafed.”

The executive is expected to return to small pizza matters tomorrow.

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