February 6, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments

By Bernie Keebler
Lankville Action News YES! Team

File Photo

File Photo


President Pondicherry is dead sources are now confirming. He was 56.

Pondicherry was eaten by a lion while visiting Lankville Memorial Discount Zoo yesterday with his 13-year old niece Amber.

President Albert C. Pondicherry:  1958-2014

President Albert C. Pondicherry: 1958-2014

“He was standing around saying things like HEY ASSHOLE! to the lion and I think that the lion just had enough,” said Amber who was rushed to the hospital after suffering from severe shock. “Uncle Pondicherry had been doing things like that for years, just going up to lions and saying HEY ASSHOLE! and prancing around. Otherwise, of course, he was a quiet, modest man. But everyone knew it was just a matter of time.

Pondicherry’s specific gripe against the lion in question in unknown.

“I won’t say it’s a terrible loss,” said political commentator Terry Coupons of The Lankville Daily News, “let’s just say it’s a loss of sorts.”

Pondicherry had been President of Lankville since 2004. His son, Albert Pondicherry, Jr. is considered an early candidate for the position.

The nation will mourn in a small restrained service to be held Monday.

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