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The Electronics Cranny: Lankville Radio Programming for Tomorrow Morning

By Neil Cuppy

By Neil Cuppy




Tomorrow morning’s radio programming has been announced for Lankville’s seven major stations, according to Communications Overseer Harry Rowley III in a report issued today. Transmission will be limited to the amplitude modulation (small) waves operating under the call names LTAB, LFRC, LFWI, LQRC, LWWY, LOTT and LPIP. “Anyone with any questions is free to write us from time to time,” stated Rowley, who was interviewed while inspecting some farm equipment. “We have a little mailbox and we can accept most things from postal carriers.” “When will the afternoon and evening programming be announced?” we asked. There was a long pause, silent as the grave followed by Rowley shaking his head slowly and spitting menacingly in the dirt. “We’ll let it go on an’ happen that way, then,” was the last thing we heard Rowley say before he moved slowly towards us.

The schedule below is taken directly from Rowley’s original dispatch.

6-7:00 A.M.

LTAB: Health Exercises and Entertainments
LQRC: Restrained Cheer Hour

7-8:00 A.M.

LTAB: Health Exercises and Entertainments
LFRC: Morning Encouragement
LFWI: Seals: What Are They?
LQRC: Early Bird Hour

8-9:00 A.M.

LTAB: Health Exercises and Entertainments
LFRC: Health Exercises
LFWI: Musical Breakfast
LQRC: Down Memory Lane with Oleg
LWWY: Home Life
LOTT: Health Exercises
LPIP: Popular Selections

9-10:00 A.M.

LTAB: Health Exercises Until 9:30 Followed by Dead Air
LFRC: Small Business Parade with Shelley Reports
LFWI: Restful Hour Sponsored by the El Arroyo Bank of Del Lankville
LQRC: Highlights, Weather, Deaths
LWWY: Regg’s Daily Chat (with William A. Hancock at the Piano)
LOTT: Health Exercises (with Breathing)
LPIP: Children’s Hour

10-11:00 A.M.

LTAB: Health Exercises
LFRC: Your Decorative Ham (with Chris Vitiello)
LFWI: Scripture, Instrumental Selections
LQRC: Dean T. Pibbs Takes Your Questions/Country Store
LWWY: No live broadcast. Distant string music will be played
LOTT: Johnny Ludlow, friend to boys
LPIP: Crop Report Sponsored by Chambers Company Hand Drills

11-12:00 P.M.

LTAB: Health Exercises, short break
LFRC: Farm Report/Time Signals from the Naval Observatory
LFWI: Concert Orchestra of the Cloud Motel (Hits of Today)
LQRC: Live coverage of the Lankville Commonwealth Luncheon from the Palace Auditorium
LWWY: Some trumpet sounds
LOTT: The Girl’s Half Hour with Ida Rumpus/Dead Air
LPIP: Birthday Celebration for Bill Connelly, Eastern Lankville

  1. Mikhail Goberman
    June 4, 2014 at 2:00 pm

    What about The Dr. Leonid Dipschitz Hour?

  2. Chileanmonk
    June 5, 2014 at 9:58 am

    I do the LTAB until 9 (can’t stand doing my healthy exercises without entertainments). Then LFWI for a cool down. 10 o’clock is a real difficult time for me, too much to choose from. Generally work myself into a frenzy. Back and forth and here and there. Then it’s LWWY to regain some mental clarity and back to sleep!

  3. Neil Cuppy
    June 5, 2014 at 10:21 am

    The previous writer commented on the exciting 10 o’clock hour– indeed, there is a sort of cornucopia, a bountiful harvest of programs on at this hour. We can only wait in anticipation of what will grace Lankville’s airwaves once Mr. Rowley releases the afternoon and evening schedules.

    (Cuppy was suddenly grabbed from behind by Rowley and beaten with a shovel).

  4. Life Lessons Funeral Home
    June 5, 2014 at 12:38 pm

    It’s nice to listen to radio programming, but one day some people will die suddenly and then you’ll need Life Lessons Funeral Home. Call Eddie or Mr. Stummins, 5-2161.

  5. June 5, 2014 at 7:02 pm

    I ate horse today. Was good! Will try again!

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