Home > Lankville Action News: YES! > Lankville Girls to Visit Pyramids

Lankville Girls to Visit Pyramids

Kimball J. Cranney

Kimball J. Cranney


Some Lankville girls gathered in front of a tree today and announced their intention to visit the pyramids. The visit will take place in late August.

“The Lankville pyramids are renowned for their great mystical beauty,” said South County High School junior Pat Tabler, who is spearheading the trip. “We have spent a lot of time as a collective, meditating beneath an open metal-poled tetrahedron and now we want to take it to the next level and see what the pyramids have to offer,” Tabler added.

South County High School executives, however, are not thrilled by the idea.

PYRAMID GIRLS- On their knees, Belle Zuvella, Claudette Washington.  Standing-

PYRAMID GIRLS- Crouching: Belle Zuvella, Claudette Washington. Standing: Pat Tabler, Michelle Easler, Gail Iorg, Pat Borders

“Access to the pyramids is via a long desert road and there are only a couple of motels along the way,” said South County principal Flinders Yett, who was interviewed in his office. “Plus, they claim that they’d like to have a big slide show come the first of the school year and right now, frankly, this institution does not have any slide projectors. They got danced on accidentally. It was dark and it was completely by accident. What I’m suggesting though is that these girls–they’re going to make us look like a bunch of rummies.”

Yett knocked over a box of pencils in disgust.

“I’m excited,” said junior Claudette Washington, who was sporting a lovely thin summer sweater and tight denim pull-on’s.  “My boyfriend was recently killed in a challenge and some of my other boyfriends have been killed in challenges too and then there’s just some guys that I’ve been having a good time with.  Just hanging out in fields around a fire and having a good time. Little bit of roller skating, some hanging out under highway overpasses, little bit of just talking about pyramids, you know, man?”

“Right now, we’re going around to local businesses trying to drum up sponsors,” added Tabler, who intervened. “We believe the trip can have tremendous benefit for South County, for all of Lankville, really.”

Interested local concerns are encouraged to contact Miss Tabler at South County 5-2331. Businesses that have already contributed include Buntz Mallows, Hadbawnik Brush Piles, Chambers Company Hand Drills and several “Flying D’s” Service Stations.

  1. Michael Konn
    July 30, 2014 at 10:14 am

    That Pat Tabler is one hot tamale! Actually, all of the Pyramid Girls are pretty righteous, and their free-wheeling pyramid-talking vibe really charges my terminals! Is there anyway that the daily news can send a correspondent to cover this and take pics, then have some sorta commemorative full color insert section. We new to encourage these young hotties. Do they need chaperones?

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