Home > Sports > Balbus TKO’s Lilliquist; Catalay-Sisters KO’s Crispus

Balbus TKO’s Lilliquist; Catalay-Sisters KO’s Crispus

By Watts Prisinski Boxing Correspondent

By Watts Prisinski Boxing Correspondent

Lou Balbus, Southern Lankville’s crack amateur Junior Abundantweight, added another impressive victory to his string of ring successes last night when he punched-out a clean decision over rugged Hoddy Lilliquist of the Outlands in the feature scrap of a 32-bout card presented by Chambers Company Hand Drills at the Life Lessons Funeral Home Arena in Capital City.

Lilliquist, a stocky-built boy who held a record of three victories and seven defeats, could not match Balbus’ sharp punching. In the first round, Balbus scored several times with hard punches to the jaw, forehead, eyes, nose, ears, throat, shoulders, elbows and wrists of Lilliquist and had his opponent bleeding, vomiting and gasping for air at the bell.

Experts consider Johnny Catalay-Sisters an up-and-comer.

Experts consider Johnny Catalay-Sisters an up-and-comer.

A hint of the final outcome came in the second when, in a furious exchange, it was Lilliquist who finally gave ground and became trapped by the ropes. Balbus drove home several clean punches to the aforementioned areas again and referee W.W. Tarn finally called the match.

In other highlights, Johnny Catalay-Sisters, a Thickish-Moderateweight from the Lankville Arctic Archipelago, delivered a barrage of blows to Thurman Crispus of the Northern Hole Area who wilted under the furious display after just 46 seconds. Catalay-Sisters, who is now 4-0 with 4 knockouts, is believed to have a bright future in the fistic arts.

“I’m happy with the beatdown I gave Crispies [sic],” said Catalay-Sisters after the bout. “I was studying the film on [Crispus] and I could tell that he had a funny habit of immediately retreating to the corner. Basically, I just hemmed him in and hit him until he fell.”

“Johnny pounded the living Christ out of that rummy, no question about it,” concurred manager Lou “Urgent” Cunningham. “That was no god damn contest.”

The thirty other fights on the card and the failure of the air-conditioning system at Life Lessons Arena made for an excessively long evening for fans of the pugilistic art, who began collapsing in aisles or falling out of their seats. Several deaths were reported.

“There were a lot of garbage fights,” noted fan George Potburn of the Southwestern Desert Area. “There was the midget fight, the two fights where the fighters were obviously drunk or high, the one fight that was announced but where nobody actually showed up but they counted off the time for seven rounds anyway. It was a little ridiculous.”

Potburn was later accidentally drawn up into an air-conditioning vent that suddenly blasted on after the event was concluded.

Judges were Buck Knowles, Ernie Salada, and Mike Blapp. Clunt Davenport was the timekeeper and Steevo Burns the announcer. Dr. Yothers was the attending physician.

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