Home > Lankville Action News: YES! > Cheap Cup of Coffee Fails at Local Lunch Booth

Cheap Cup of Coffee Fails at Local Lunch Booth

September 4, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments
By Bernie Keebler War Correspondent

By Bernie Keebler

LANKVILLE ACTION NEWS: YES!

 

Lancey Parrishes, manager of a local lunch booth, gave up his attempt to win customers with twenty-five cent cups of coffee, sources are confirming.

He said the cut-rate cup did not attract any new customers but instead caused his regulars to increase their consumption.

Parrishes, who has been shunned, consented to an interview with The Lankville Daily News outside of city limits.

BK: What will you do now?
LP: I don’t know. It’s been tough.  It’s been very difficult on my family.

Parrishes (above) has been wearing dark glasses to avoid detection.

Parrishes (above) has been wearing dark glasses to avoid detection.

BK: How will you go on?
LP: Eventually, I’ll have to go back and face the lunch booth. But, somehow, I…(Parrishes broke down and began sobbing).
BK: Why did you think your little scheme would work?
LP: I guess I thought people would be drawn to the low cost. But it didn’t happen that way.
BK: Yes, people really seem to hate you.
LP: It’s true. I’ve been living on handouts from scary forest dwellers.
BK: I guess you’ve learned an important lesson.
LP: I have Bernie. I really have.
BK: I’m not going to ask any further questions but I do think you should sit here in silence for awhile longer while I stare at you.
LP: It’s…I understand.

The interview ended shortly thereafter.

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