Crushed Chips Make Local Bagels Glow with Pride

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Crushed Chips Make Local Bagels Glow with Pride

October 23, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments

By Larry “God” Peters

LANKVILLE ACTION NEWS: YES!

A foreign neighbor child was recently hanging out in the Bread Lodge Co-Operative Small Bakery the other day while its workers (also its owners) were making bagels.

“She was cute, little funny foreign kid, kind of supervising, asking questions and eating this bag of artificially-flavored chips, the kind of thing they probably don’t have in her backward, simple-minded birth-nation,” said Bread Lodge co-owner Lorang Ewing. “And then she said, you should put these on a bagel…”

Crushed Chip Bagels: ARE THEY ANY GOOD?

One perk to owning your own business is the ability to do whatever you want. That can be a downside at times but not last week. Not at all. Because that’s when Bread Lodge made the first “Crushed Chips Bagel.”

They pulverized three different bags of the brightest colored chips they could find and dipped the ready-to bake bagels into the mixture, instead of using garlic sauce or one of the usual toppings. “We found that the crumbs stay crispy for a good many hours,” noted Ewing (who was judged to be selling it in the backside but a little weak up front). “They crisp up again if you toast the bagel,” Ewing added. “We have the freedom to try these things instantly. We made them, put pictures of them up on the Internet and on fliers stapled to telephone poles and trees in the woods and the next thing we knew, we had sold, like, a hundred of them. It was a lot of fun.”

The bagelmakers make sure to use local ingredients in their concoctions, like flour made from Lankville wheat. Since the chips came from a nearby corner store, do they count as local?

Today, Bread Lodge will make a few hundred more Crushed Chip Bagels. They’ll make more on Friday. And then, they’ll make more again on Saturday and Sunday. The process will continue provided that the days continue to advance in their normal progression.

“We have a takeout window,” said Ewing. “So if you’re unsure of the idea of having chips crushed on a bagel, you at least won’t have to get out of your car. It won’t take a lot of exertion to give it a try.”

Each crushed chip bagel is $1.25.

The foreign child could not be located to be interviewed for this story.

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CURIOUS LETTERS

Gentlemen,

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Therefore, I was hoping you could provide me with information on how you intend to rectify this matter as I am fearful that your fine product will eventually disappear forever from the shelves of my local grocery center-cum Sodom.

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