Home > Lankville Action News: YES! > Flounced Linen Bed Skirt Nearly Strangles Royer

Flounced Linen Bed Skirt Nearly Strangles Royer

November 14, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments
By Sha-Nell Byas-Kirk

By Sha-Nell Byas-Kirk

LANKVILLE ACTION NEWS: YES!

A gorgeous, flounced linen bed skirt nearly strangled Lankville business magnate Ric Royer, sources are reporting.

Royer: recovering.

Royer: recovering.

The dangerous escapade occurred last night in a Small Beaches hotel room.

“Sometimes when I sleep, I tend to thrash around in a sort of horrifying way,” explained Royer, who was taken to a local hospital to recover. “At some point during the night, we believe that I became entangled with the flounced linen bed skirt. Then, in the middle of the thrashing, I was suddenly lifted upward. The effect was that I was nearly hanged.”

Sometimes when I sleep, I tend to thrash around in a sort of horrifying way.

Police ferreted a series of hotel employees into a dark, windowless closet where they were meticulously interviewed. Two were later given 40-year prison sentences.

“We came to the conclusion that the flounced linen bed skirt had been placed on the bed in a slightly haphazard way,” asserted Detective Gee-Temple, who was the first to respond to the scene. “And we made the decision to dispense with justice right then and there.”

By this morning, Royer was playfully shoving nurses and doctors, overturning wheelchairs and setting small fires about the hospital. He will likely be released sometime this evening.

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