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Feelings by Dr. Kevin Thurston

November 28, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments
Dr. Kevin Thurston

Dr. Kevin Thurston

Dr. Thurston is an expert on men’s feelings.

I often ask many of my clients to close their eyes and visualize a slowly-moving pinwheel.  “What’s on the pinwheel?” I’ll ask.  The answers are quite varied– if they are of a natural variety (grass, horses, foam), I will move in one direction.  If they are of a man-made variety (cabinets, posters, foam), I will move in quite another.

“Tell me about the horses,” I’ll say.  “Are they ordinary?”  As the client is describing the horses, I’ll prepare a small group of items to be offered for sale later in the session.  If the description of the horses veers quickly into violent imagery, I will generally try to mollify the client by offering the items immediately.

“Why is your office located in this damp basement?” a client once asked.  “I’d feel better if I could actually sit in a comfortable chair and look out at the wilderness.”  I put aside some fake books with hidden compartments that I was going to try to sell him and pressed my hands together in a pacific manner.  “Tell me about that,” I said.  His face grew very red.  “I’m just saying, it’d be nice if there wasn’t these opaque glass blocks to stare at.”  “They are to prevent the theft of collectibles,” I noted.  Although that client never returned, he did purchase the books with the hidden compartments, $19.99, good deal.

One client recently expressed the feeling that his life had become a prison.  “It’s a living hell,” he said, “an endless, deep hell.”  At that moment, I was checking the functionality of a used bicycle pump.  I decided that the pump could be a metaphor for his condition.  “Look how easily the air blows through the shaft and out this little hole,” I noted.  I fingered the contraption lightly.  “Why don’t we try a Thurston Breathing Exercise from our handbook?”  He stood up and kicked a chair over.  “These breathing exercises are horseshit,” he exclaimed.  “Tell me about that,” I asked.  I placed the bicycle pump on a small column intended for display.  We slowly worked through his issue.

Everything is a process.  The Thurston Method is complex, many items need to be purchased, but in the end I have faith that it is successful.

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