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Nature Alcove with Don Jars

December 31, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments
By Don Jars, Naturalist

By Don Jars, Naturalist

Don Jars is Lankville’s premier naturalist.

Today, we’ll be discussing the largest of Lankville’s lizards– the famed “Caramel Dragon” of the Southern Exotic Islands. Discovered by famed naturalist Harry Caramels (1811-1850), the Caramel Dragon reaches a length of 10 feet and may weigh 300 pounds or more. No one believed Caramels when he first reported word of the now famous lizard and he was variously described as “crazy” or “berserk” or an “asshole”. It wasn’t until photographers captured images of the Dragon that Caramels’ reputation was redeemed. Unfortunately, by then, the intrepid naturalist had been injured in a challenge and then murdered in a tent. Yet, his fame now lives!

The Caramel Dragon is an “inviligator lizard”. This means that he tends to “watch over” things and possesses vast intelligence (many can even count and sort shapes). The Dragon is also venomous and a bite from the creature means instant death.

The famed "Caramel Dragon".

The famed “Caramel Dragon”.

Fortunately, they are slaughtered quite often and made into popular commercial materials such as purses, combs and shoes! There is no more popular gift for a woman than a “Caramel Dragon Tooth Comb” or a pair of Dragon Hide Flip Flops– ideal as leisurewear during those long, hot summers. And you will be the talk of your office with a stunning “Soft Dragon Top Handle Bag”, marrying timeless Island craftsmanship and versatile modern design. Simply “pick it up” ™ for that style that goes everywhere.

Caramel Dragon boots never go out of fashion. Lined with Caramel Dragon leather and cushioned insoles, these boots will ensure comfort from your very first step. Rugged and durable at work and at play– you’ll be the hit of the ranch, office, or shed.

Nature is so abundant. Next week, we’ll be looking at Lankville Upper Ocean Amphibians.

DON

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