Home > Opinions > OPINION: A Good Cup of Joe Hits You Right in the Balls

OPINION: A Good Cup of Joe Hits You Right in the Balls

By Ray Tebbetts

By Ray Tebbetts

OUTSTANDING, INFORMATIVE OPINIONS

When I wake up in the morning, I’ll tell you what I do. I grab me a good strong cup of Joe. Why? Cause it hits you right in the balls, that’s why.

I work in a toll booth. Sometimes, it can be really difficult getting motivated for my day. Eight long hours in a god damn hell– that god damn hot, stuffy tool booth box– nothing but irritated drivers throwing bills at you and that foreign foreman coming around checking on your posture every twenty minutes. It ain’t no fun, let me tell you. But if I get that good cup of Joe to slam me right in the balls…well, it’s enough to make it passable. Enough to make the world look cheery.

But it ain’t cheery, I’ll tell you that. That box may be one’s man minor inconvenience but it’s this man’s flaming Gehenna. It’s like getting roasted alive in a nether world of everlasting fire. Those smeared and streaked windows that nobody don’t ever clean, that choking odor of exhaust and petrol– I’m telling you. I just want to rip apart my own flesh and raw bone by the end of the day.

And then I have another cup of Joe bash me right in the balls.

And then I feel human again.

The opinions of Ray Tebbetts are not necessarily the opinions of The Lankville Daily News or any of its subsidiaries.

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