Hadbawnik, Royer, Samways, Schropp All Honored at Luncheon
By Gina Bradley-Komminsk
David Hadbawnik
LANKVILLE ACTION NEWS: YES! Lankville Daily News columnists David Hadbawnik, Ric Royer, Sarah Samways and Brian Schropp were all honored yesterday at a downtown luncheon held in an office park that was later completely destroyed by a mysterious fire. Hadbawnik, Royer and Samways received huge, unwieldy trophies and Schropp was awarded the “Lankville Golden Dish” for his cuisine reviews.
The ceremony was hosted by notable celebrity Randy Pendleton.
“It was a great honor,” noted Hadbawnik, who was struggling to hold up the elephantine trophy as photographers snapped away. “I feel I’ve done some important work this year on gourd-awareness and mud pits and I’m lusciously delighted beyond measure that people have noticed.”
Sarah Samways
Hadbawnik later had to be hospitalized after suffering a slight groin pull in his effort to hoist the trophy one final time for photographers.
Samways, who arrived wearing a foreign headdress, a sweatshirt and bicycle pants was similarly pleased. “People come up to me on the street now and ask for autographs. I’m lusciously delighted beyond measure and I’m preparing an extremely long memoir about my experiences,” the journalist added as she struggled beneath the massive trophy.
Samways later was hospitalized due to a back strain.
Schropp and Royer both arrived late.
Brian Schropp
“My Dad wouldn’t give me a ride,” Schropp noted after receiving his “Golden Dish” which was as small as the trophy was large. “But I’m lusciously proud beyond measure of this little tiny decoration.”
Ric Royer
Schropp later had to be hospitalized after suffering from a panic attack.
Royer was the last to speak. “I am not fully aware of the symbolic meaning of this trophy,” the executive and journalist noted. “I suppose it will be useful in trading for food at a later apocalyptic date in our shared history.” Royer handed the trophy to his handlers and headed straight for a table covered with bottled sodas.
A short speech by editor-in-chief Marles Cundiff followed.
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Reblogged this on SARAH SAMWAYS and commented:
I am in this publication’s debt! (18 bucks, approximately…) I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for our loyal readers! My confidence is soaring and I can now become the style maven we all knew I was born to be. Thank you, The Lankville Daily News!