Home > Remonstrations of Fingers Rolly > Holy Christ, I Miss My Puppies and My Beer

Holy Christ, I Miss My Puppies and My Beer

January 13, 2015 Leave a comment Go to comments
By Fingers Rolly

By Fingers Rolly

I had been screaming at that mother of a god damned whore desert for about two straight days and finally a couple of guys in faggot coats came along and told me it was time to go into town. I cussed them both up and down but they insisted on it. We climbed into an ambulance and went along at a steady clip. Still, I could see that fucking desert out the little window like a cracked and brown anus and I couldn’t help but gurgle a little.

They brought me into some hospital where some ninny with a clipboard kept an eye on me through a window. I watched this mooncalf sonuvabitch for the longest time and screamed intermittently. Finally, he came on in the room.

“I miss my puppies and my beer,” I called out. I thought about the desert and started to get out of my chair and then I remembered where I was.

“You don’t have any puppies, Mr. Rolly,” the little jackass said.

Christ as my witness, I wanted to strike him. Or at least yank his shorts down like I used to do back in my physical education days. Course, he wasn’t wearing no fucking shorts anyway.

“You don’t know about any god damn puppies,” I told him. I let out a long, low shriek.

“And as for beer, Mr. Rolly, well, that’s neither here nor there.”

I looked long and hard at the little bitch. He made a mark on his clipboard. I began moaning and then I thought about that desert and made a push for the door.  A couple of guys stopped me.  I don’t remember much after that.

And now here I am back in the kitchen with this fucking leaky tractor transmission on the table. And there’s that brown motherlover out there. Just mocking me. Making an abominable mockery of every damned thing.

I do have some beer now though.

The Lankville Daily News would like to apologize for the preceding article. Mr. Rolly was assigned on article on the Madison Weather Simulator.

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