Home > Lankville Action News: YES! > At Last- a New Trap for Telephone Perverts!

At Last- a New Trap for Telephone Perverts!

January 16, 2015 Leave a comment Go to comments
By Elliott Cumber-Lanny

By Elliott Cumber-Lanny


Lankville can breathe a sigh of relief.

Police announced this morning that the rash of telephone perversions is coming to an end.

“The Lankville Bureau of Probes in cooperation with the Danny Madison Corporation have created a device that will catch telephone perverts,” said Detective Houston Gee-Temple during a press conference in which only soggy toast was served. “I feel confident that this will bring an end to the insidious outbreak of deep telephone perversion.”

Danny Madison, creator.

Danny Madison, creator of the “Madison Revealer”.

Gee-Temple then yielded to 12-year old boy genius Danny Madison, who explained the device.

“This transparent piece of plastic will fit over your phone,” said the wunderkind, who held up a mysterious object which appeared to be invisible. “Upon receiving the debauched call, the victim will press a button. This device, which I call the “Madison Revealer” will then send a signal to police headquarters, pinpointing the caller’s location, sex, age, number of trophies won and other pertinent details. Police will then travel directly to the pervert and make the arrest.”

The assembled applauded loudly.

“Speaking of calls I’d like an ETA on that pizza that was ordered,” Madison suddenly asked the throng. A handler took him aside and the issue was dealt with privately.

The device will be available in electronics stores by Saturday and the Bureau of Probes will provide free “Madison Revealers” to past victims.

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