Odds and Ends by Brian Schropp
BRIAN SCHROPP ON CUISINE
Another cooking tip I have learned the hard way– when preparing any type of pasta MAKE SURE THE WATER IS AT A FULL BOIL BEFORE PUTTING THE PASTA IN!!! You can’t just put a pot of water on the stove, start heating it, and throw the pasta in at any point. (Thanks Mom) And DO NOT add any type of sauce while the pasta is in the water– you need to heat the sauce separately. I know, it’s boring standing there waiting but some things are worth the wait! Despite these minor setbacks in the kitchen, I still believe that in the future I will pull off the creation of some sort of breakfast-style pasta option. I recently made a chipped beef on garlic bread which was a big hit to me (not so much the family) and feel I am on the cutting edge of a possible new and exciting food trend.
People have been writing to me this past week asking if I was upset that Hank Cameron, Manager of Foodville, took all frozen breakfast sandwiches options out of the store. Hey, it’s no skin off my nose if that jerk wants to bankrupt his store. I only hope the owners of Foodville will read my 27-page letter (which I mailed the other day) where I plead my case for why this man is incapable of running any type of grocery. I highlighted the most scandalous things (like changing the expiration dates on the honey baked hams and marking up the price of East Island sausage whenever he thinks some East Islander is coming into the store) in case they don’t want to read the whole thing. Actually 24 out of the 27 pages were rendered in a comic book type format to make it easier to read. I can only hope the owners will be smart enough to listen before it’s too late!!
The BSU (Breakfast Sandwich Underground) has taken action against Mr. Cameron by sending fake pizza deliveries to his house non-stop (with the bills on some exceeding $100 a pop!!). And with thousands of pizza delivery options in Lankville, and with many of them open 24 hours, I don’t see this stopping anytime soon. One of the members said they drove by his house yesterday and there was four different delivery cars in the driveway and pizza boxes stacked up against each side of the front door (doesn’t the fool realize you can’t leave the food out there like that or else you will attract Super Squirrels?). The person also noted that Hank Cameron was chasing one of the delivery guys around his yard with a rake in his hand, yelling at the top of his lungs. Has Mr. Cameron reached his breaking point? Shouldn’t he do us all a favor and maybe go on a extended vacation somewhere?
The promise of the new sub shop off Blackenship Rd. proved to be a hollow one. The owners opened their doors with the delivery of the actual sub rolls still not there. So they decided to try a “high-five special” where they actually high-fived the meat and toppings of the sub into the customer’s hands. Well, the sweat from the hands got the better of most people and the vomit flowed like wine. The health department was there in no time to shut the place down and beat the owners once the doors were closed (customary procedure, I’m told). Blackenship Rd. has been cursed by the lack of a good sub shop for a long while. The last one– “Subs’N’Suds” was a promising idea in which you were served your subs while taking a bath in an old fashion bathtub. If they only fully thought out the idea (like changing the bath water between customers) maybe the health department would of allowed them to remain open. Keep your fingers crossed a decent sub shop will find a home there soon.
Please remember to keep your mind and mouth open to new ideas.
Happy eating!!
BRI
LETTER SACK