Home > Lankville Action News: YES! > Area Girls Rolling Out the Whoop-Ass Cannon

Area Girls Rolling Out the Whoop-Ass Cannon

February 11, 2015 Leave a comment Go to comments
By Brock Belvedere

By Brock Belvedere

LANKVILLE ACTION NEWS: YES!

A group of area girls are rolling out the whoop-ass cannon, sources are confirming.

“I was just outside tending to some little pots that had fallen over and they came down the street rolling the [whoop-ass] cannon. I knew it was going to be bad,” said Eastern Defoliated Area resident Jean Books (rated about a 7 of 10 by this author).

The girls are believed to be the same band that terrorized Lankville areas in October and December of last year.

The area girls that are rolling out the whoop-ass cannon.

The area girls that are rolling out the whoop-ass cannon.

“We have a trace on them,” noted Detective Gee-Temple, who was the first to respond to the scene. “We are anticipating a [whoop-ass] salvo and have evacuated the area. We just want everyone to be safe.”

Politicians, law enforcement officials and church people are already calling for measures to stop the area girls. “Frankly, we didn’t know they had a [whoop-ass] cannon,” noted Gee-Temple. “Our intelligence had indicated that they were involved in ganking and getting up in everybody’s [shit] but weapons [whoop-ass cannons] were not on our radar.”

The motivation of the area girls was unclear at press-time.

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