Home > Lankville Action News: YES!, Zach Keebaugh Investigations > Area Jackass Has, Like, Fucking Trash in His Front Yard

Area Jackass Has, Like, Fucking Trash in His Front Yard

By Zach Keebaugh

By Zach Keebaugh

STORIES THAT AFFECT YOU

CENTRAL LANKVILLE– An area jackass has nothing but, like, fucking trash in his front yard.

The jackass, who has been identified as Mr. Coven Slides, a Tungsten Inert Gas Welder, had little to say about the fucking trash when challenged.

ZK:  What’s with the fucking trash, old man?

CS:  The wood was all part of a shed that was in the backyard. It was in the backyard for years and then it wasn’t. Then, it was in the front yard and it was broken up like that. That’s also when that big cart was there.

Would you just look at the fucking trash that this area jackass has?

Would you just look at the fucking trash that this area jackass has?

ZK:  The Lankville Daily News is not buying that shit explanation, man.

Mr. Slides just shrugged his shoulders and walked away. Later, we saw him inside the big shitty cart.

Calls to the Central Lankville Sanitation Department were answered.

“We know about Mr. Slides,” noted Sanitation Director Rudy Sakata. “His yard does have a lot of trash in it. But in that photo you faxed over, one can clearly see a blue trash can. We took that to mean that Mr. Slides is taking care of the issue.”

“The old man is all, like, acting like he doesn’t know how the trash got there,” I said. “It’s a big mind game if you want my opinion,” I countered.

“Well, there’s that wood cart there. And the cart is full. Clearly, some things are happening,” said Sakata.

My toaster pizzas were done then so, you know, I cut the interview short.

Mr. Keebaugh’s story also suddenly ended. 

  1. No comments yet.
  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s