Home > Lankville Action News: YES! > Government Seeks to Close Funeral Home

Government Seeks to Close Funeral Home

Bernie Keebler

Bernie Keebler

LANKVILLE ACTION NEWS: YES!

Request for an injunction to prevent the Three Kings O’Great Centre of the Divine from practicing the profession of funeral directing, was filed in Small Circuit Court yesterday by the Lankville Board of Funeral Directors, Embalmers, and Memorial Flower People.

The suit was signed by the Attorney General.

It was alleged that the defendants, Mr. and Ms. Lakely Beaches, are not licensed to practice funeral directing and, notwithstanding this fact, the firm has been supervising funerals for profit, have “prepared human dead bodies by means other than embalming”, and sold funeral supplies including caskets, plots, and sad musical instruments.

Mr. and Mrs. Beaches claim they have done nothing wrong.

Shenanigans

Shenanigans at the Three Kings O’Great Centre of the Divine?

“We have a good, honest, family funeral home,” noted Mr. Beaches, who was interviewed while en route to pick up a sandwich and a body. “The government is sticking their noses in where they don’t belong, as usual.”

The Board, however, noted that the Three Kings O’Great Centre of the Divine lost its license in 1985. A request for restoration and reactivation was denied in 1988, 1994 and again in 2012.

When asked why it took thirty years to affirm the lack of proper licensing, the Board noted, “We’re just buried in paperwork over here, Bernie.”

The case is expected to be heard later this month. The Three Kings O’Great Centre of the Divine has been closed until further notice.

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