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Otis Nixon: 1955-

October 15, 2015 Leave a comment Go to comments
By Otho Ump

By Otho Ump

Infamous Lankville lurker and Lankville Daily News columnist Otis Nixon is not dead as previously reported.

Otis Nixon is not dead.

Otis Nixon is not dead.

Nixon, who was walking through a field when he was alleged to have been blown into the woods and destroyed, returned home today.

“Otis is fine and resting,” said his wife Teri. “He’s happy to be back.”

Relatives, friends and former lovers should no longer visit at the Life Lessons Funeral Home of the Southern Lankville Peninsula, Inc., on Friday, October 16, from 2pm to 4pm and 6pm to 8pm although the 2am if you’re up for it is still on the table. Funeral Services have been canceled for Saturday, October 17, 11:00am at the Great Christ Tube Church of the Southern Lankville Peninsula.

“No need for a funeral if the guy isn’t dead,” said Life Lessons director Eddie Berg, who seemed disappointed.

Nixon, a reformed lurker, is retired from 32 years service with the Grebov Brothers Telescope Company. He plans to resume his regular activities early next week.

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