Samways and Fick, Consultants: ELECTRONIC LEARNING

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Samways and Fick, Consultants: ELECTRONIC LEARNING

November 2, 2015 Leave a comment Go to comments

Dr. Samways

Training is essential to any growing organization. Building your team, outfitting them in white polo shirts with mountains on them and having the right skills and abilities in place combined with high-quality and moderately effective training is fundamental to your success. An untrained employee can cost your company downtime, loyal customers, office chairs, merchandise, AND your reputation (they also often cause fires). However, traditional “electronic training platforms” can be expensive, time consuming, incomprehensible, inconvenient and leave you with nothing but a pile of papers and senseless scribbled notes as you quiver mass-like beneath your desk in a puddle of your own abominable excreta.

Samways and Fick, Consultants can help alleviate this common problem. With electronic training capabilities, employees are able to access a colorful interactive educational curriculum (our platform has a jovial cartoon horse narrator) that is outside of the traditional classroom setting and at their own convenience. Samways and Fick, Consultants has partnered with Samways and Fick: Solutions to provide you with innovative and targeted online learning and development strategies that shy away from ponderous lecture and repetition and instead blitz the user with a series of fast-moving screens intended to jackhammer the information directly into the subconsciousness of the employee (while amusing him on the conscious plane– remember, the horse).

Dr. Fick

Once the pulverizing information session is completed, we offer a range of follow-up training solutions, developed by experienced instructional designers in the Outlands that are effective and deliver results – solutions that ramp up productivity, slam performance in the ass and impact your bottom line. And that is guaranteed.

Samways and Fick: Helping You Reach the Area Near the Top of Your Mountain.

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CURIOUS LETTERS

Gentlemen,

My name is Fletcher M. Gregory, Jr. and I am 85 years old. I have long been an admirer of your Fluffy Marshes-Mallows; indeed, my man-servant Mr. Swift and I enjoy it atop our sundaes three or four days per week! However, as time has passed, I have noticed that your product becomes more and more difficult to locate in the grocery center and that other, obviously inferior products are now being allotted primer space. Now, this could be the work of the disgraceful he-she that manages my local grocery center (IT'S name is "Steve") but I have had other associates who have expressed similar concerns.

Therefore, I was hoping you could provide me with information on how you intend to rectify this matter as I am fearful that your fine product will eventually disappear forever from the shelves of my local grocery center-cum Sodom.

Yours faithfully,
Fletcher M. Gregory, Lankville

LANKVILLE IN PIECES

Test yourself. Take "Lankville in Pieces" apart and see how long it takes you to get it together again. Puzzle pundits will enjoy this breathtaking, colorful 165-piece jigsaw puzzle of Lankville now being offered by The News. It comes assembled, has a plastic, lock-top storage bag, coupons and a portable "lifter" for use on restaurant tables. The puzzle sells for $20 in The News lobby or for $24 to cover postage and handling by electronic snappy mail. Send cash to: Lankville in Pieces, Kiosk 258, The Lankville Daily News, Lankville City, 02416.

TRAVEL TIPS by Randy Hammers

The Kum Back Inn in the Lankville Desert Area has long been serving road-weary travelers. They feature a restaurant (with cocktails) and two spacious conference rooms. The Kum Back boasts 65 units-- each including window dressing, some chairs and a larger chair (seats two smallish children), a bed with orange comforter, a plastic trash can, clever paintings, and a windowless door. TV also available in 17 (sometimes 19) rooms. Most of the rooms are air-conditioned. Oscillating fans available upon request. Illuminated carports will protect your vehicle from the vicious sudden dust storms that often overtake the Desert Area and the wild thieves that occasionally parade across the landscape like some unmentionable horror. Call now at TU-0780 and ask for Bud or Karen (married).

© 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017 by Devon Fick and The Lankville Daily News. All material written by Devon Fick unless otherwise indicated. With additional material by David Hadbawnik, Shane Meyer, Sarah Samways and Brian Schropp. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Devon Fick and The Lankville Daily News with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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