Home > Feelings by Dr. Kevin Thurston > The First Time I Met Dr. Thurston

The First Time I Met Dr. Thurston

By Brock Belvedere

The first time I met Dr. Thurston (expert on men’s feelings) was on a rainy Sunday in late fall, sort of a miserable day. Still, Dr. Thurston was wearing jeans shorts.

“Are you not cold in your jeans shorts?” I asked.

“No,” he said. “I am not feeling cold. I am not feeling that.”

We went to a breakfast place. It was 9 A.M. but they had a band playing. Couple of guys on trumpets and another guy playing a pump organ that had been shoved awkwardly into an alcove by the bathrooms.

Dr. Thurston ordered pancakes. I pretended to look over the menu (for effect) but ended up ordering pancakes too. See, I knew all along that that’s what I wanted. I could feel it.

“I’m going to text you,” Dr. Thurston said suddenly. He removed a lime green flip phone from the pocket of his jeans shorts.

“Why? We’re right here, talking to each other.”
“No, it’s better this way. Is your phone on vibrations?”
“Yes.”
“This is going to be great, it really is.”

Dr. Kevin Thurston: Expert on Men’s Feelings

I felt the vibrations through my pants (they were jeans, but standard-length jeans). I removed my lime green flip phone from the pocket. The face said, “Incoming text from Dr. Kevin Thurston- Expert on Men’s Feelings.”

I opened the phone. The text read, “DISCOVER FEELINGS.” It was all in caps, just like that.

“Thanks, Dr. Thurston, I guess I will.”

“Don’t delete that text,” he said. “Even if you get a new phone, make sure to send it to the new phone before canceling service on the old phone. I want it to be your first text when you get a new phone. Even if you have to do it while you’re standing at the counter of the phone kiosk. Just make sure, alright?”

“Ok, Dr. Thurston- will do.”

He drummed his fingers on the table.

“Listen, I’ll be frank– I’m a little concerned about that text,” he said. “You will do what I said? Because, frankly, I’m looking at you and I’m not seeing a guy that’s good at things. I’m sorry, but you needed to hear that.”

“No, really, I will.”

“Promise?”

“I do.”

The pancakes came then. Mine were runny in the middle. They had also run out of syrup suddenly.

But Dr. Thurston’s were good. “Best I’ve ever had,” he said. I believed him.

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