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Doctor Pennies on Travel, Special Tactics

March 28, 2013 Leave a comment

By Doctor Pennies
Special Correspondent
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File photo

I always pack lightly and utilize a suitcase that no one will remember.  I change suitcases often. I have driven out to the desert and burned many a suitcase.

Upon occasion, special tactics are required.  I have traversed many a rooftop in pitch black darkness.

Thanks.

Doctor Pennies on the Humanoid Pig-Like Creatures that Live in the Depths of a Great Chasm Beneath His House

March 12, 2013 Leave a comment

By Doctor Pennies
Special Correspondent
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File photo

I became trapped there during a flood.  I had to kill hundreds.

After some time, I became transported to a further pit noted by its extraordinary periods of silence followed by eldtrich, sibilant bird calls.  The pit changed into a vast sandy plain surrounded by mountains.  For a time, there was peace.

Then the humanoid pig-like creatures returned.  It was a dire struggle but I killed them and repelled them.

I returned to my bedroom but I have not slept.

Doctor Pennies on Obfuscation, Burying

March 8, 2013 Leave a comment

By Doctor Pennies
Special Correspondent
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File photo

Obfuscation and the burial of bodies are similar.  They both involve a glorious, intentional lack of clarity.  They are ambiguous.

I find it best to bury things near the water.  The soil is richer here, much easier to pierce with the spade.

Medical language is carefully crafted obfuscation.  You want to control the audience.  You want them to come around to accepting your methods. This is the opposite of ordering food.  There can be nothing vague about your food order.  Else, you would starve or, at the least, be displeased with your selection.

Thanks.

The thoughts of Dr. Pennies will continue in further issues.

Doctor Pennies on Heat, Corpses

February 28, 2013 1 comment

By Doctor Pennies
Special Correspondent
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File photo

You can feel the heat of a woman in your bed long after she has left.  Upon occasion, the heat is tremendous.  She’ll say, “It’s your heat, you stupid shit.  Because you’re so fat.”  But I know the difference.  It’s the heat of a woman.

Also, I worked on a lot of corpses as an intern.  There is no heat there.

Thanks.

Doctor Pennies’ thoughts will continue in further issues.