Home > Sports > Technical Problems Mar First Night of Pondicherry Action

Technical Problems Mar First Night of Pondicherry Action

January 20, 2013 Leave a comment Go to comments

By Brock Belvedere, Jr.
Senior Staff Writer
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A series of technical problems marred Pondicherry action last night as statistics, scoreboards, and even lighting systems were inoperable throughout most of the evening.

The 7PM contest between the Niner Elevens and the Uncolored Condiments was played in complete darkness.

“It was terrible,” said a Condiment fan who refused to be identified. “We could hear them out there on the ice but we couldn’t see a thing. Most of us tried to leave but we were stopped by people with lanterns on the ramps who told us to stay where we were or risk being shot. Weird announcements were occasionally made that were distant and incomprehensible. It seemed to become lawless in certain areas.  It was a frightening, eldritch evening.”

The fan was later shot.

The inaugural contest at Vitiello Decorative Ham Arena between the 24-Piece Men and the Terrifying Bats was played with illumination but without an operable scoreboard, P.A. announcing or even a game clock. A box score was still unavailable as of this morning.

“I woke up and wandered senselessly in the dark around my kitchen for awhile,” said Bat fan Bud Mountains. “Finally, I got the computer fired up and checked the score on the Pondicherry website. There was a link for it but when I clicked it, all I got was a white screen that said RUINED. And then, after that, I was unable to access any further websites, even sites that had nothing to do with hockey and then a terrible heat issued forth from my computer and it began to melt before my eyes.”

“I had to run outside,” Mountains added, after a moment of reflection.

Commissioner Pondicherry or league officials have yet to issue an explanation for the various malfunctions.

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