Home > Sports > Great President of Hell Visits Briefly with Team

Great President of Hell Visits Briefly with Team

January 21, 2013 Leave a comment Go to comments

By Grady Kitchens
Senior Staff Writer
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The Great President of Hell (formerly Ric Royer) visited briefly with his Terrifying Bat club before last night’s contest with the Niner Elevens.

The incarcerated owner made a short statement and recited some insensate poems.

“I want you guys to penetrate the pipes,” stated The Great President of Hell, as his team gathered around an ornamental dais in the locker room. “I want as many players to get in between the pipes as possible, even if it means leaving your own net wide open. By doing this, and only this, will we be able to find the…”

The Great President of Hell suddenly paused and stared at forward John Tavares.

“My Lord, you are a beautiful specimen of manhood,” he stated, loudly.

The Great President of Hell then left the dais and had an impromptu, private conference with Tavares. There were no further remarks.

The Great President of Hell has spent the last three months at the Foontz-Flonnaise Home of Abundant Senselessness.

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