Home > Musings of a Decorative Ham Man > Vitiello Elaborates on Belvedere Cat Story

Vitiello Elaborates on Belvedere Cat Story

January 26, 2013 Leave a comment Go to comments

By Chris Vitiello
File photo

A most curious story has been submitted by 24-Piece Men GM Chris Vitiello in response to reporter Brock Belvedere’s earlier account of the executive feeding his neighbor’s cat.

I see that Mr. Belvedere has filed his report. Well I would like to elaborate upon it because what happened immediately after our encounter was both mysterious and divine.

I found my neighbor’s cat waiting by its bowl. After depositing the requisite amount of kibble into it, I poured myself a generous shot of whiskey from my neighbor’s liquor cabinet and leaned against her sink to contemplate her gloaming backyard. An ice storm had glazed everything. And there was a small man there, struggling on the ground.

I went to him. He was miniaturized, not like a midget or dwarf or “little person” or whatever the term is nowadays. He was as a normal man is, in every proportionate respect, but reduced to one-third scale. As if seen from a great distance.

He looked up at me when I asked if he was all right. His face was incredibly weary and drawn, but it was my face. And I was too frozen with surprise to recoil or unleash my whip when he reached for my leg. The moment he grasped me, our location changed.

We were crouched on a grassy rise of earth overlooking a darkened shore. Placid, even waves rolled in, too far away to hear in detail. And a pack of perhaps forty gray wolves was viciously mauling something unseen at their center, on the sand.

The small man sat upright, seemingly recovered. He looked at me and nodded slightly. Then he stood and trotted down the back of the hill, away from the shore. In a moment he was fifty yards away and I forgot about him. I had to know what the wolves were mauling.

I am on my way to shore right now.


Written by Chris Vitiello
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