Vitiello Whips, Releases Several Players
By Grady Kitchens
Senior Staff Writer
File photo
24-Piece Men GM Chris Vitiello whipped and then released several players following Pondicherry League action last night. The players have not yet been named.
“He came right into the locker room with an incredible sense of purpose and resolve on his face,” noted forward Sidney Crosby, who is not believed to be one of the players cut loose. “He went over to [name withheld] and whipped him mercilessly, then handed him a pink slip. Following that, some guys took this giant industrial vacuum cleaner and sucked everything out of [his] locker. Didn’t even give him a chance to claim any personal items. It was terrible.”
Crosby stated that the same series of events happened to two further players.
“It happened three times total. Then Mr. Vitiello left the [locker] room and the guys with the big giant vacuum cleaner followed.”
“They even sucked up the [player’s] street clothes,” Crosby added. “They had nothing to wear.”
The 24-Piece Men remain mired in 8th place in the 9-team league.
“We haven’t been playing well,” said forward Patrick Sharp, who also witnessed the event. “But there’s no call for coming into a locker room, whipping people and then sucking up all their personal effects with a humungous vacuum cleaner that allows nothing, nothing at all to remain. It was a sort of vacuum holocaust, if you will.”
The 24-Piece Men are expected to release a statement today.
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