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Dick Oakes Baseball Digest

By Dick Oakes, Jr.
Senior Staff Writer
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The Pondicherry Baseball Association Division of Leagues kicked off action last night with a moderately exciting slate of contests.

The Chunk Island Ruby Legs pounded the visiting Terrifying Bats 16-1 behind lefty Merv Boats, Jr. (1-0) who hurled six scoreless frames.  Chris MacDonalds and Didius Getta had 3 hits each and 1st baseman Vic Puppies homered.  Jo Tet (0-1) took the loss for the Bats after allowing 8 runs in 1 inning.

“I didn’t have good stuff tonight,” said Tet, who was throwing a mix of slowballs and pitches that bounced once before arriving at the plate to be crushed.  “I couldn’t get my arm slot right and my mechanics were all off.  Something to work on at some point whenever I can find the time.  I’ve just been buried in paperwork lately.”

Attendance was reported as 16,245.

Later in the evening, the Outer Depths Wipers edged the visiting Western Area Small Pizzas 3-2 at Depths Facial Tissue Plaza.

Oren Schrantz (1-0) picked up the win in relief for the Wipers, who scored an eighth inning run on a bunt, a dropped pop-up, two further errors and a moment of deep confusion following the storming of the field by an old hippie.  Mike Reeps had 2 hits and a homer for the Small Pizzas.

“Everything kind of broke down there in the 8th,” said Small Pizza skipper Sherm Bumbry.  “I thought that a strange haze seemed to issue forth from the air conditioning units and that it enveloped my players and made them suddenly incompetent.  And then the hippie, of course.  Once the inning was over, the haze seemed to dissipate and I noticed the hippie was hanging out by the railing, like they never even threw him out or anything.  It’s something we’ll be taking up with the league.”

Attendance was reported as 25,342, 7 kids, 10 pets.

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