Home > 2012-13 Season > Fake Astronaut “Nick” Revealed as Balloons Owner

Fake Astronaut “Nick” Revealed as Balloons Owner

By Trenton Scisse
Baseball Beat Writer
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Fake astronaut and noted space asshole “Nick” was revealed today to be the owner of the new PBA club “The Balloons”.

“We’ve been using Nick’s fortune to buy a great number of things,” stated a Balloons spokesman, who refused to be identified.  “And we figured, let’s buy into baseball.”

“Nick”, who has been an owner in the Pondicherry Association Hockey League for four years, has not been heard from for months.

“He’s probably just wandering around somewhere,” said the spokesman, who alerted the press to a series of picnic tables piled high with unwrapped cold cuts, muffin pyramids and awkwardly-placed and poorly-restrained dips.  “We haven’t had one of those odious little stories from him for quite awhile.  Last we knew, he was heading out into the interior of some imagined mind planet.”

“The Balloons” open the season this afternoon against the Desert Vermilion Sands at Small Office Lamps Park.

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