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Small Child Makes Debut for Terrifying Bats

By Trenton Scisse
Baseball Beat Writer
File photo

A small 9-year old child made his debut last night as the Terrifying Bats were crushed by the Arboreal Dells 21-3 at Deeply-Wooded Area Park.

“We’ve been beating the bushes for talent,” said Bats manager Jimmy “Apple Cakes” Quizzler, who watched as his club committed 7 more errors and fell to 0-5.  “Someone told me about this small child, I was drunk, and I signed him up.  That’s pretty much how it happened.”

The small child, Dennis Clean-System, allowed 7 runs in 1/3 of an inning before being lifted for no one.

“We didn’t have any pitchers left,” noted Quizzler.  “At least anyone notable.  So, we just forfeited the game at that point.”

The Arboreal Dells notched 10 hits off Clean-System before the forfeit.

“Well, Jimmy came out to get the kid and they both walked off and no one was coming in from the bullpen,” said home plate umpire Karl Saffran.  “I walked over and asked for a pitcher and Jimmy just kind of threw his hands up and there was a long period of silence and confusion.  Then, it was over.”

Moderately exciting PBA action will continue tonight as the Crisply Moving Bisons will take on the Stamps at Hoover Island.

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