Home > Remonstrations of Fingers Rolly > Screaming at the Desert: A Primer

Screaming at the Desert: A Primer

By Fingers Rolly
Man on the Street

File photo

You set up your chair and put the blinds up.  Needs to be before dawn.  Make yourself a pot of shitbird coffee– that asshole kind of coffee that comes in a god damn big can.  You peel off the metal top and you get hit with that blast of fucking air.  People think that means freshness– I’ll tell you what that means.  It means LIES.

The sun’s going to come up over the butte.  You’ll notice the shadows first.  That’s when you start.

You don’t want to blow your voice out early.  Start with a low, doleful moan.  You need to sell that shit though.  Don’t go half-assed.  Go half-assed and, god as my witness, I’ll take you out back myself and kick your dick in.

Build slowly to a crescendo.  By lunchtime, you should be at full blast.  They should be able to hear you for miles.  Make that asshole of a desert cringe– shake a cactus to its mother of a whore core.  Don’t let anybody get away with anything.  Show that pisspit of a desert what it means to have to account for itself.

Slow down by evening.  Rest.

Then repeat the next day.

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