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Feelings by Dr. Kevin Thurston

July 16, 2013 Leave a comment Go to comments

By Dr. Kevin Thurston
Special Correspondent
thurston
File Photo

The Pondicherry Association News is pleased to present a new column by Dr. Kevin Thurston, expert on men’s feelings.   

I’d like you to start by envisioning yourself sitting at a picnic table painted red.  For a very long time, you will not be able to see anything because they’ve taken out the normal windows and put in those big gigantic glass blocks that prevent people from stealing things like electronics and collectibles.  It’s funny, I had an apartment once that had those kind of blocks and it caused a certain sort of mental instability even though I had no electronics at all and no collectibles and I told the man that.  But he had the blocks put in and it became impossible to look out and judge the sort of day it was or what was going on in the street (there were frequent beatings and parties) and there was a sort of mania that crept in and I had a little table in the kitchen that I’d eat at and that was gone one day but I’m getting ahead of myself.

You want to enter the very tipps [sic] of that mania and then, suddenly, the entire wall with those horrid big glass blocks will disappear and you will be looking out upon a beautiful beach scene at dusk and you will hear that lovely sound of waves, surf and those birds they have.  Let everything enter your body and let it out and then let it enter again.  You can also let it out again if you’d like but that’s your choice.

For $29.99, I have a tape that can also be played while you’re performing this exercise which is known in some circles as the Thurston Movements.  It’s very light organ music set to “mandolin”.  I made the music myself on an organ that I built myself from a box from a foreign country.  It came with a wood case and has two full octaves.  If you want the organ, I can let it go for $49.99.

The “Feelings” of Dr. Thurston will continue in future installments.

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  1. Reggie Pit
    July 16, 2013 at 11:39 am
    Reply

    I went to see Dr. Thurston several times. His office is in the basement below a dry cleaners. There is no traditional waiting area– instead a series of beanbag chairs have been placed behind a tan-colored screen. There is one of those TV’s with the giant back and it’s turned on but gets no reception. Dr. Thurston himself calls you after an interminable period of time; oddly, you never see any other patient leave. He takes you back to a windowless office filled with those big thick glass blocks. There is a hammock attached to two walls and this is where you talk about your feelings. Dr. Thurston has another hammock. It’s relatively effective and on a scale of 1-10 (1 being the lowest), I would rate Dr. Thurston’s practice a (Pit ran out of allotted space).

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